Sex is everywhere. Every image we see in the media seems to be saturated with sex. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I, for one, am glad that people are actually talking about sex, rather than pretending it doesn't exist, and I will admit to being an avid viewer of Sex and the City. But, at the same time, there are thirteen year olds getting pregnant. Some people treat virgin as a four letter word, and are shocked that they even still exist. Of course, there are plenty of people out there abstaining from sex, probably just as many as ever. I interviewed a wide range of young adults on there reasons for waiting.

The first girl I spoke with, Julie*, just graduated from the University of Irvine (UCI) in California. At twenty-two years old, she is still a virgin, and proud of it. She is not necessarily waiting for marriage, just the right person. She doesn't want to have sex just to get it over with, which she believes is the reason many young adults do it. "There is no one worth having it with. I'm not going to go home with just anyone. I probably could, but I don't want to," she says.

Waiting to find the right person was a common theme with the people I interviewed. Nineteen year old John* is also a student in California and is waiting to fall in love before he has sex. "I don't want to have sex with one of these stupid flings that I keep getting myself into," he says. When asked if he feels there is more pressure on guys to have sex than girls he says, "Obviously. Guys don't have an excuse to not have sex. Girls don't need to do this to prove themselves." I push him further to see if he actually tells people about his virginity. He says he is more embarrassed telling girls than guys. "If it's a girl you like, you don't want to tell her because you don't know what she's look for." He also admits to feeling pressured sometimes by his friends who tell him he needs to just do it to get it over with, but most of his friends are cool about it. He guesses about half the population at his university are virgins. I ask him if he participates with his guy friends in conversations about sex, to which he answers, "You don't have to do it to know it. I probably talk about it more than anyone." I conclude with asking if there are any other reasons he is abstaining, to which he answers, "STDs are always a big fear. But that's a given. You just have to know the person well enough."

This leads to the other main reason for abstaining: fear of STDs and pregnancy. "If it wasn't for STDs and pregnancy, everyone would be having sex," says 20 year old, Andrea*, a college student in Boston. "We're all human and we all have human desires, but there is too much at risk nowadays. You don't want to risk all that for just anyone. I have my whole life ahead of me and I don't need a baby right now, although I do want one eventually, when the right person comes along."

To get an even younger perspective, I spoke with thirteen year old, Jessica.* She notices all the sex in TV and movies, and thinks it's too much. "Everyone at school is always talking about it. They just think sex is one big funny game." She thinks that a lot of parents let their kids watch anything, which is how they get their information, but "they probably just pretend to know." She says she wants to wait for marriage to have sex and she thinks it's scary that young girls her age are having sex and even getting pregnant. "I don't feel sorry for the kids," she says," I feel sorry for their babies." Jessica's interest in boys hasn't really extended passed Orlando Bloom and Tobey Maguire yet, although she has had a boyfriend. She broke up with him because she didn't feel ready for a relationship and she believes you should only date someone if you really want to be with them. "You know the blonde one in Sex and the City [Samantha] who doesn't want to fall in love? I think that's stupid. You should only go out with someone who you really like because then there is less of a chance you will break up with them."

There are plenty of other reasons why young adults wait to have sex, especially religious reasons. Many orthodox Jews will not even hold hands with a member of the opposite sex until marriage. Whatever the reason, plenty of teens are still abstaining. It's a personal choice that everyone has to make and everyone has different opinions on the matter. I'm not saying that sex is a good or bad thing, and the views expressed in this are not necessarily my views, but luckily we are at a place where we can talk about it.

* Indicates that name has been changed

- Linda Buchwald, Associate Editor