Danielle describes bipolar as a dramatic shift in mood. "One week you might feel on top of the world and then another week you feel like a ton of bricks and you feel like nothing, an immense sadness, sorrow and self loathing. It's something you can't control, it's a chemical imbalance as doctors describe it." Danielle's first reaction to finding out she had bipolar wasn't surprising to her since she already figured she had it. But Danielle was relieved to be put on medication. "I was like finally I can be normal for once and not have these insane thoughts dance around inside my head when I'm in the depressive state."

    Danielle has stopped taking medications for her disorder and now deals with it on her own. She explained, "Whenever I think of doing something self destructive, like cutting myself or beating myself to cause bruises I write and use that negative energy to make a creative masterpiece. My depression has given birth to some wonderful pieces of work." She also runs a lot because it gets the endorphins running and helps to get the anger and stress out. Even when she doesn't feel like it, because she is too depressed and weak, she makes herself do it.

    Danielle is a lot more open to talking about what is on her mind. Talking to others about what is wrong instead of bottling it up inside has helped her be more in control. Danielle says that her friends aren't that supportive of her. "They turn a blind eye and don't want the burden of my problems, or they are totally fake about it." Her family however is very supportive of her and are able to relate to what she is going through.

    Danielle can be reached at her e-mail address phr0z3n_4ng3l@yahoo.com if you have any questions or comments for her. Don't be afraid to ask to get help or help someone else. You might not only save your life, but someone else's, too.

    Danielle wants people to know that "this is not a sick disease like ignorant people may think. We are not crazy, we are unique. Learn not to judge, but to learn, understand and accept things for the way they are."


- Kelly Kurowski, Real Life Associate Editor