As a young child, Toren regarded drinking as wrong and something “troubled people” did. But by age 14, he began to consider drinking as more acceptable and would occasionally knock back a few beers or whatever small amount of alcohol he could steal from his parents. Toren‘s mother Chris Volkmann of Olympia, Washington, had often told her son about the dangers of drugs and alcohol while growing up, but that didn’t stop him from continuing to drink.

In the following years, Toren began drinking heavily on the weekends because he enjoyed the comfort of a good buzz and lacked the motivation to say “no” to his friends. This behavior followed him to college, where drinking was at that time and remains today a socially acceptable practice that seems almost required of students. Toren remembers that even professors and university staff had said they considered drinking part of “the college experience." Toren would often consume 10-15 beers in any given night, and wasted his days away lying on his couch being drunk. “Everytime I tried to even drink responsibly, or socially, I ended up blacking out, vomiting, or unable to control how much I drank.” Although his friends and family knew that Toren had a drinking problem, no one wanted to admit it. “When we pointed out that drinking was causing him problems, he blamed others for what was happening,” Chris revealed. “He insisted that his drinking was only for fun.”

But it was Toren who finally decided to get help for himself. While working in the Peace Corps in South America after college, his drinking became so uncontrollable that he went to the Peace Corps medical office and asked for help. They discharged him, and he spent 30 days at an inpatient treatment center, and following that six months in a halfway house. Chris says that she was proud her son asked for help, and her role was to be there for Toren and learn as much as she could about the culture of alcohol. At first, Toren had trouble functioning socially without being able to rely on alcohol for support. He says that the hardest part was staying true to himself and not giving in to the temptation to drink.

Although recovery is a life-long struggle for Toren, these days he is sober and happy. Him and his mother Chris have co-written a book together titled, “From Binge to Blackout: A Mother and Son Struggle with Teen Drinking.” The book has been featured on several TV shows and in major magazines, and the two hope that promoting their story will teach teens that alcohol abuse is a life-threatening problem. Chris and Toren discourage age as a factor in alcoholism: “it doesn’t matter what age a drinker is, alcoholism is a progressive disease that begins with the first drink.” Because Toren was born into a family of alcoholism, they also mention that genetics play a huge role in risky drinking behavior. It’s important for teens and young adults to find things they are passionate about and pursue them without letting negative influences harm their potential. And if a teen is abusing alcohol, it’s important to get them help as early as possible - catching problems early will help stop destructive drinking behavior. Chris and Toren both know that getting help was the best decision he ever made. “Getting help turned out to be a beginning for me instead of an end. Life is good.”

If you or someone you know needs help with alcohol abuse, call the American Council on Alcoholism toll-free at 1-800-527-5344.

- Kyrie Juchemich, Associate Editor